So...Do y'all follow Amber at The Pless Press? If you don't you should. She is such a genuinely sweet girl, with an adorable blog. She is currently doing a series that I encourage you all to go check out. It's called Share Your Story, and she is featuring tons of different bloggers. Every Friday, a new blogger plugs in with Amber and shares her story about what God has done for them. It's amazing. She featured me some time ago and to be honest....writing down my story was a little difficult. I have what some would call a pretty rough background. But I'm thankful for my happy ending to a dark and scary path. I have really enjoyed reading all of the Share Your Story posts, and I hope you'll go check them out as well!
I found the post I wrote floating around in my ever-growing pile of drafts. I figured I would post it and send y'all her way to read the other amazing posts she has featured! AND...there will be more! :) So, do go check her out.
(Here's a link for this post at The Pless Press) (Here's a link for The Pless Press)
I am 22 years old and I married my sweet, sweet Mr. Robinson this past September! 09-10-11, to be more specific. I started this blog in October, so it's still pretty new and I'm still learning my way around this blog-world. When I started writing my blog, my intentions were to keep track of my married life. This new and wonderful adventure deserves to be documented! However, if you follow me or if you decide to be a new follower (which I hope you will!), you will soon realize that most of my posts are about crafts and homemaking. I try to write about marriage, recipes, family, and how we handle our issues. I think it's a good mix of topics that get a little heavy on crafting sometimes, but that's okay. I'm a craftaholic. :)
I saw that Amber was looking for people to share their story about what God has done in their lives. I e-mailed her the very moment I saw it! I think it is such a great idea to spread some Jesus-love and inspiration. So, thank you Amber for allowing me the opportunity to share what our beautiful Lord has done for me. I apologize now for not putting any pictures in this post...God pulled me through a dark time & I don't feel like sharing pictures would really be appropriate.
I was raised in a Christian home by a Christian mother and a complying father. We lived deep in the country and in the Bible Belt, so I've been surrounded by churches and Christians my entire life. I was raised to be perfect. I was to go to church, memorize all of the verses, sing in every church production, play the piano for special music, and to be as involved as possible. In addition, I had to have perfect grades. I was the oldest child and I was the first grandchild on both sides. Everything I did was under constant scrutiny. At school, I felt the pressure to have the perfect boyfriend, the perfect care, to look perfect, and be a great athlete. I did it all. I worked hard to please my parents and my family, and I also worked hard to become popular at school. Once I got a little older and my friends started going to parties and hanging out with older boys, I started experimenting. I was the first to lose my virginity...at age 13, to my first older (and "perfect" boyfriend). Well, he broke my heart so I moved on to bigger and better things. I started dating an 18 year old when I was 14. He was involved in heavy drinking and drug use. I started to realize that I could not be "perfect" for my parents and "perfect" for my friends at school by being the same person. The party life looked like more fun and when I was at that fork in my road, I made the wrong choice.
At 14, I was smoking cigarettes, sneaking out, drinking heavily, drinking and driving, sleeping with my adult boyfriend, lying to my parents, cussing like a sailor, smoking pot, taking prescription pills, going to parties... it was all so easy to get sucked in.
In my sophomore year of high school, a friend of mine dragged me to a church camp. I went and I really did feel the Lord speak to me and tell me that what I was doing was wrong. I came home with every intention to change, but failed to follow through.
This boyfriend continued to drag me down. I can't blame it all on him, though. Sure, he introduced me to a lot of things. I never said no. We eventually broke up when he cheated on me with a younger girl. Looking back, it all disgusts me. He disgusts me. How can a man be attracted to a child?
Time went on. Life went on. I was heartbroken again. I drank more, partied more, lied more, smoked more, used drugs more. I lost a lot of friends...a lot of girls talked bad about me. They called me a slut, a drunk, a party-girl, a pot head. It hurt, but I was having fun. I graduated high school, moved away to attend college. I was living two hours away because I had to get away from my parents and their small-town ways. I had to get away from the rumors. I missed my friends. I missed my life. So, I came home.
I fell right back into what I was doing when I left. Parties, drugs, sex, lying to the people who loved me more than anything. My parents were really starting to get fed up with the hours I kept, so I moved out again. I moved an hour away to attend the nearest University. I still partied and did all of the things I wanted to do, I just didn't have to answer to my parents anymore. They wanted what was best for me, so they were paying for my education and my apartment and anything else I needed.
I got a job working at Express. When I wasn't making enough money there to support my habits, I got a job waiting tables at Ruby Tuesday. My parents were paying my bills, but I had to work to buy drugs and alcohol. When I still wasn't making enough money, I started sleeping with and eventually dating my drug dealer.
When we broke up, I started selling drugs on my own.
The last person I ever sold pot to was my younger sister. My last night of freedom was in a dirty bathroom stall with girls from work, watching them do coke & wondering what my life had come to. The next day, my latest boyfriend broke up with me. I was devastated...he bought me high grade marijuana as gifts all the time! I turned around and sold it, made a killing! I was heartbroken, all of my friends were out of town, so I came home to my parents to just...feel some love. They took me out to eat at my favorite local restaurant. We came home. They told me they had something to talk to me about...and proceeded to cut me off. They found out my sister was buying pot from me and told me they were done supported my lifestyle.
This meant that they would no longer pay my rent. This meant I would be quitting college. This meant I would no longer be able to afford my habits. This meant my relationship with my parents and my entire family was damaged. I had no boyfriend, no friends in town, no money, and my lease was up in two weeks. I was about to be homeless. I was terrified, hurt, angry....lost.
The new guy at work and I start hanging out. He's a Christian. I'm not, and barely making ends meet. I have almost no relationship with my parents. I'm still doing all of the same things I was before my parents cut me off, I was just no longer lying about it. This guy really liked me and I couldn't figure out why. I pulled away from him, only to come right back. I hurt him so many times, but he loved me and didn't take no for an answer. He knew that I was just afraid of him (and Him). He did not approve of my lifestyle, but stuck around and let me do my thing. He wanted to be around me, so he turned his head when I did something he didn't approve of...which was often.
He invited me to church one night when I hit a low point. I accepted. I was terrified. I asked my parents to go with me. They drove an hour and a half to be there. My mom cried...my dad shook his hand and said that "Any guy that gets my daughter to walk through church doors again is alright by me." A few days later, we went on our first date.
He made me so happy...he made me realize that the only reason I felt like I had to stay drunk or high was to forget my reality. If he could be reality, I'd have nothing I needed to forget. I stopped smoking pot. Gradually I stopped drinking. I told him that I loved him and meant it. I already knew he loved me.
We made it official - we were "boyfriend and girlfriend" after almost 6 months of him trying to woo me and me scampering away. Within two weeks, we were planning our wedding. :) Another two weeks, I had an engagement ring. God used Mr. Robinson to bring me back to Him.
God brought me out of such a dark place....I was selling drugs to my baby sister, the girl I was supposed to look out for and advice. I was in a constant stupor from drugs or/and alcohol. It was the lowest point of my life and the best part? It's in the past.
I have a WONDERFUL relationship with my parents now. I have a WONDERFUL relationship with God now! I have apologized and begged forgiveness from all three of those people, on my knees with tears in my eyes. I removed all poisonous people from my life. I lost some friends, but I gained the best thing. I gained my soul.
If any of you have any questions about my faith or about my past or about my present...or just anything, really, I'd love to hear from you. You can e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org or just leave me some comment love and I'll respond via e-mail! :) I hope my story touched you or that it's something some of y'all can relate to. Or maybe it can encourage somebody who is going through a rough patch. Things get better.
XO's! Thanks for reading!