January 13th was the day he selected for us to have our January Date.
Our January Date consisted of us putting on our jammies (him=basketball shorts & a tee, me= leopard print onesie), going into the Man Cave (a magical place in the house that I'm not allowed to clean), letting him pick out what we listen to & BLARE it on his surround sound system, and play Monopoly Deal - his favorite card game. Last year, after he proposed, we started a score card on a plain index card, and used it to keep track of the all-time winner! So I made us a 2012 Score-Card to use & stuck it in the envelope.
We played Monopoly Deal & filled our cheecks with Starbursts. =)
So we played Monopoly Deal and snuggled with Zombie. He was full of snuggles that night!
But after I beat Mr. Robinson in the first game, he decided he didn't like that game anymore. And he wanted to play Pachisi of India, instead. It was a board game we got from my dear friend Lizzy for Christmas - because we are game people & he is obsessed with Indian culture.
While I was wining that game as well, Zombie chewed on my leopard-foot.
Mr. Robinson is a sore loser, so when I won THAT game as well...we played a baseball game on his play station. I'd never played it before and suggested (in the written date description) that he teach me how to play a PS game. He was DELIGHTED! And Zombie finally settled down in my lap. He was not interested in the learning experience at all.
After we played 9 innings, we watched Moneyball. It was actually really, really great. I liked it, and so did my hubby! I consider Brad Pitt to be a great actor...he fits into ANY roll & I am totally a fan, so that helped.
So the January date was a success and I'm excited about February! I'm excited about him opening the envelope, about choosing a day, about going on the date, and about revealing it in a blog post. Before I leave y'all, I want to be honest.
There is a Bible Study based on this book...and I've been working on this study for the past six week with a small group from our church. Read this book, do this study, make a move! :) Anyway...
I am so happy that I gave these dates to him as a Christmas present...I love the anticipation it creates...but I highly encourage all of you ladies to do something like this for your men! My husband was so excited - I couldn't believe it! He was like a KID at CHRISTMAS and it just blew my mind that something so simple (to me) was so amazing (to him). Monday night in my Bible Study we were talking about men and romance. I wish I knew the statistics, but I don't. I'm sure I could find them but that's really not the point. However, the study Shaunti did proved that MEN desire ROMANCE...did you know that?! Men want romance, they want to be romanced, they enjoy being romantic...but men and women have different definitions of "romance." So when they try to be romantic, and we make a snide comment or don't acknowledge their efforts, they feel like a failure and are scared to try again. "For Women Only" opened my eyes to so many things...I hope you all can read the book or do the study somewhere. It will shock you and amaze you and change you. It will improve your marriage and ANY relationship you have with a male. I promise you...you can't read this book and not be changed. So, back to romance. Basically, when our men ask us to go to Home Depot with them, they think they are being romantic. Spending time with them at the hardware store is the equivalent of them giving us a candlelight dinner.
Seriously.
Get off your high horse and think about it.
Candles, flowers, soft-music....those are GIRLY THINGS. But we want our men to do them for us to express their love. We want our men to express their love in a womanly way, right?. We want them to "woo" us with candles and flowers and presents and a "romantic" atmosphere. But what defines romance? What on earth makes the female definition of romance the ONLY definition?
Nails, hammers, light fixtures, fertilizer....those are MANLY THINGS. Those are things that they like. Our men want us to express love for them in a MANLY WAY.
Seriously...think about it.
How...mind-boggling is it that when our boyfriends/fiances/husband invite us to go to Lowe's, or to go golfing, or to go hunting, or to the hardware store with them...they are being romantic. That is their way of telling us "I want some romance between us." What's even crazier than that is that God Made Them That Way. A problem that I have (in life, in relationships) is thinking that is my husband does something differently than me, that makes him wrong. One thing this study helped me realize was that God made me and God made my husband. God gave women one definition of romance and He gave men a different definition. Who am I to think that was a mistake? Who am I to think my husband is wrong? Who am I to think that my ways are BETTER than God's ways?
One story a man gave was something like this: A man and his buddies were golfing one day and ahead of them ,they saw a man and wife golfing together. While knowing that today was "guy time" and we all know that men need their guy time, all of the "guys" were jealous of the man who was playing golf with his wife. They were jealous because they all wished that their wives wanted to golf with them, too.
So I planned out a date (well, 12 dates, actually) that are filled with things my husband will enjoy. That was one of his Christmas gifts, remember? I didn't do it thinking I was being romantic..I just planned something that he would like but we would both enjoy. I felt like making sure we DID the things we WANT to do would be well worth the effort it took me to plan them months in advance. I never want us to say "I wish we had done {this} when we were younger," you know? But little did I know... I was romancing my husband. :) It's pretty amazing. I am so excited about the upcoming months because NOW I know what our dates will mean to him. I know that he feel just as swept off his feet as I did in the beginning and still do when he makes the effort to SHOW me: i know your definition of romance. i know that when you see candles, you hear "i love you." Now that I know this, I totally understand why he was so giddy during our January Date. He felt the way we ladies feel when our men "romance" and "woo" us.
I never want to deprive my husband of that feeling...I know that I don't want him to deprive me of romance. So I encourage you ladies to take your men on a date and woo them, romance them, and love them on THEIR level, not on our level.
I'm curious: how many of you have thought about this before? Did you already know this? Are you intrigued? Do you think you might want to read this book or this study? Do you think this is hogwash? Let me know! I would love to hear your opinions!
