Monday, November 7, 2011

Married Life

Did you know that this coming Thursday, November 10th is our two month wedding anniversary?!

Ah!!  It just amazes me that we have already been man and wife for two whole months.  Sure, two months is not a long time.  Maybe we are silly to even acknowledge our two-month mark.  Who knows what you think, but you are entitled to your opinion.  My opinion?  Well, my opinion is that I am madly in love with my husband and considering how the past two months have gone, we have EVERY reason to celebrate!

I mean, sure, we haven't made it quite to the Kim-and-Kris Kardashian milestone yet, so nothing is for certain.  We could spontaneously divorce any day now!  (kidding)  But I have high hopes for us.  :)

A little known fact... we had two pastors officiate our wedding.  Mr. R & I are not members of the same church yet.  So, we had his pastor and my pastor officiate.  My pastor told my parents after the wedding.."Ya know, I think those two really are gonna make it."   Talk about a compliment!

See that man on the left in the black suit and red tie?  That's him.  That's my childhood pastor.  That's the man passing out compliments on our wedding day!  He is a man that I respect and have respected for a very long time.  He is a man of God and is not the type of person to just SAY things.  He would never say something just to be nice.  He would stand there in complete awkward silence before he lied.

Like I was saying.  You may think we have nothing to celebrate.  Being married two months is not some huge accomplishment.  So, allow me to explain.

These past two months have certainly brought it's fair share of highs and lows, but I have learned that marriage is such a rewarding experience.  Love is such a wonderful thing.  I adore being married...I adore being Mr. Robinson's wife.  When we went through our premarital counseling, our pastor told us that there are four stages of marriage:
  1. The Honeymoon Stage
  2. The Disillusionment Stage
  3. The Rediscovery Stage
  4. The Contentment Stage
(Click here to go to a website that pretty accurately sums up what our pastor told us in our premarital counseling.  It's good stuff, promise.)

I know we've only been married two it is pretty crazy to think that we could possibly be in Stage 3 already, but I really believe that we are.  I thought he was going to leave me not very long ago... I was prepared to be left, divorced, and forgotten.  My husband deserves the greatest girl in the whole world.  I'm not perfect, and I know that he is not either.  But he has been so GOOD to me and so faithful to God that I've always felt like I'm not worthy of his love.

For a while there, we had been fighting like cats and dogs.  Nothing he did was right and nothing I did was right.  He screamed, we yelled, we cried, we stormed out, we talked to everyone except each other.  I was crying all the time.  We were barely speaking to other than arguing or pointing out each others flaws.  One morning he came by my work and told me he might not come home that night.

Ouch.  Talk about a blow to the stomach.

We had a talk...we both realized that we were nuts for expecting the other to be perfect, and we decided to love each other anyway.  We both promised that we were not going anywhere, ever.  Things have been very close to perfect ever since that talk.  We've had one minor hiccup, which was yesterday.  That is one week and one day without even so much as a harsh word or a nasty look at each other.  If you are married, you know all about the unnecessary sarcasm, the nasty comments, the evil looks that are thrown about between husband and wife.  It is hard work being married!  I know that every married person out there knows how great of an accomplishment it is to go an entire 8 days without anything negative happening.  We've done nothing but kiss, snuggle, compliment each other, praise and encourage each other, and be happy.

If you are the type of person who comes home from a long day at work and refuse to work, clean house, cook dinner, or talk to anyone...married life is not for you.  Sorry!  But one thing I've already learn is that if my marriage has any chance of making it to forever, I better get my lazy butt up off the comfy sofa and fight for my man!  

You may not know this.  You may not be a Christian so you may not even believe this... but Satan tried to tear us away from God.  And do you know what?  Satan attacks the family first.  Why?  Because the less Christian marriages there are, the less Christian children there are, and the less work The Devil has to do pulling people away from The Father.  Pretty simple stuff.  So many couples today let their marriages end in divorce.  Why do you think it is so easy for marriages to end?  "Because the first year is the hardest?"  Well, yes, that is true...the first year of marriage is difficult.  I've figured that out already!  However, that is not the reason.  The reason the first year of marriage is so difficult is because Satan is working against us..trying to tear families apart at the roots.  

Married Life is Hard.  Being a wife....oh.  What does it mean to be a wife?

For me it means..
  • Not screaming at my husband because he REFUSES TO THROW AWAY ANYTHING
  • Doing most of the housework without nagging my husband to help.  If I keep quiet, eventually he will realize he is being selfish (all on his own!) and come help out.  Sure, he doesn't take over and become Mr. Clean but he does help.  
  • Letting him do things his own way.  If he isn't cleaning something the way I would do it, it might drive me nuts but I have to let him do it or expect him to stop helping.
  • Doing my own thing while he is in the man cave playing guitar, listening to music, or whatever.  My man needs his down time after work and being a good wife to him means letting him have that quiet time guilt-free.
  • Washing all of the clothes.
  • Doing {most of} the dishes.
  • Holding my tongue instead of pointing out every single little thing he does that "drives me nuts."  It means taking a moment to realize that maybe "driving me nuts" is too short of a trip, my patience is too short, and that I love this man!  :)
Marriage has taught me so much about myself.  I have learned a lot about my husband, too.  He's learned a lot about me.  It is a learned and growing process that will never stop.  It's exhausting, it's dreadful and wonderful all at the same time.  It's the best thing I've ever done.  :)

Marrying my best friend...there are no words for the happiness he brings into my life.

I love cooking dinner for him and pleasing him through his stomach.  I love the art of learning and figuring out his facial expressions and what each of them mean.  I love learning more about him.  I love the BOND I feel to him now that we are committed to each other in front of God, our families, and the law.  I love the security.  I adore snuggling with him, getting all gussied up just for him, doing special things for him!  Being married is's so great.

It changed our relationship completely.  It's crazy..  I thought our relationship would be pretty much the same.  Marriage changes things and I am thankful for every single change.  :)  I enjoy being a wife.  I love having a husband.  I love the word husband!  He is the best.  It is hard, marriage is hard.  Love is hard but being married is even harder.  BUT, I will tell you this.  It is the most rewarding experience of my life.  :)

So..tell me about your marriage!  I'd love to get some perspective.  How many of you moved through the phases quickly?  We went from friends to stage 3 of marriage in about 7 months.  :)  But we made it through the part where couples tend to get divorced, so that's good.  I'd love to hear from YOU!  :D  Have a great Monday!      


Renewed Upon a Dream said...

That's great you are celebrating 2 months of marriage & are discovering new things about yourselves & each other as you go. We have been married 5 months now. I too do everything in our home & clean up after him. We have the added bonus of him being a medical (pediatric) intern, so we have periods of time where we don't see each other for days, or when we do he just eats (something I cook for him) then falls asleep on the couch. It can be hard being married when it feels like the other person isn't giving as much of themselves as you are. But I think that it's worth it for the little things we do get out of it. :)

Mrs. Robinson said...

Yes, I absolutely agree! :) I'm sure it is hard to deal with your "added bonus" some days...but man, oh, man...sicking in there turns out to be worth it, doesn't it?1 :)