Thursday, February 16, 2012

Being Selfish

I haven't talked about marriage in a while, have I?  Sure, I've written pah-lenty of mushy, sappy posts lately, but that's not exactly being honest.  Well, it is being honest.  We've actually been doing really great lately.  Everyone says that the first month is the hardest.  The first month was pretty easy  for us.  It was the 2nd and 3rd months that had me convinced my marriage had already failed.  

Sure, it sounds silly, but at the time I was completely convinced that it was just not working.  The 2 & 3 month mark of marriage was when we had to start making big decisions together.  We weren't agreeing on anything and someday I'll tell you all about our struggles during those months.  I'll give you a hint.  During that time was when I did a TON of crafting and baking.  I used all of my spare time to make a {what I was convinced was a} crumbling marriage look picture perfect.  True story.  I can look back at those difficult months...and it just amazes me at how much we have already improved.  I'd like to say or think that we are pretty good at this whole marriage thing...but I know bigger and badder storms are lurking out there somewhere.  I know that our silly, petty fights over what kind of checking account we should have is nothing compared to what's in store.  I know that.  We've only been married 5 months.  Obviously, hardships will come.  However, I like to pretend like they won't.  I like to pretend like we are masters of our trade and that we are finally figuring it all out.  Most days, we do so well.

Most days..

Most days we are selfless.
Most days we love & adore each other.
Most days we serve each other.
Most days we put our spouses first.

Yesterday, though, I was a really selfish wife.  I feel quite guilty.  I think that writing this post makes me feel even more guilty.  My parents got home yesterday from their 10 day cruise.  I've been missing them terrible. I may have written several rants about my dad/boss not responding to my e-mails or desperate attemps to contact him.  He did live me in charge of the family business.  A factory.  Scary stuff.  I've missed my parents, we are very close.  However, I had no right to be selfish.  None.

Source: via Carrie on Pinterest

Source: via Nikky on Pinterest

What did I do?  I forced my husband to spend the night at my parents house last night.

They live less than 30 minutes away from us.

They didn't get home until 8:30 and we didn't get there until 9.

They had no food.  Mr. R didn't really get to eat dinner or breakfast.  
~He fixed a fluffnutter sandwich for "dinner" before we left home.
~He had to go into town extra early this morning to buy breakfast at Hardees.

They have indoor cats, which Mr. Robinson is allergic to.

He also has a sinus infection & wasn't feeling well.  

I made him stay up with me, talking with my parents, until 11:30.

We slept in my sister's bed.  My sister is at college.  Her bed now is her cat's bed.  Cat hair was everywhere.  He's allergic to cats.

I was mean and selfish.  He was sick and just wanted to stay home and rest.  He was not in a good mood, and I put my desires over his needs.  Before you decide to unfollow me because I am certainly a bad wife, let me explain.  I'm close with my parents and I have been missing them terribly.  If I didn't go see them last night, I wouldn't have seen my dad until Friday at work (which doesn't really count as visiting) and I wouldn't have seen them for real until Saturday!  Saturday they are coming over to take some of their stuff out of the house, so we won't really be visiting then either.  I just needed to see them.  I was so excited about their return!  It's been a rough week without them.  Naturally, I wanted to be see them ASAP!  I went and got my biweekly fill in last night before church, but it took longer than ever and I ended up missing church.  Whoops.  Mr. R still went, and I beat him home by about 20 minutes.  I knew it was getting late and that he wasn't feeling too well, and that he would probably prefer to just stay home.  I was prepared to put the offer of staying home on the table.  So I went into our room to put on my jammies.  What did I see on the bed?!  A suitcase already packed up with his stuff.  I just loved him so much in that moment & he wasn't even home from church yet!  I saw the overnight bag on the bed and knew that he was just as excited as I was about going to my parents' house!  I packed up everything I needed for the night, too!  I was so excited.  I was so loving him.  

So, he gets home and I'm all finished packing.  I run to hug him and express excitment for his sweetness....and he asks me if we can stay home.  Obviously I said no.  I was too excited by that point.

I cried myself to sleep last night because he was pouting and moping, and wouldn't snuggle.  I was upset and being dramatic.  How can he act like this when I am so happy to be here?!  It feels so good to fall asleep to these familiar smells and sounds.  How can he be mean?!  

Drama Queen?

I know that sometimes it's good to be selfish, but I really feel like last night was not one of those occasions.  So, there you have it.  9 out of 10 times (lately) we've been doing GREAT as far as marriage goes!  He was a total romantic, sexy beast on Valentine's Day.  How do I repay him?  By dragging his sick butt out into the cold night so that I  can go sleep over with my mommy.  Poor Mr. Robinson.  

He does handle me at my worst.  And that's why I love him.  We were gonna go eat dinner with my parents tonight.  (I miss them, remember?!)  I think that I'll surprise hubby by not doing that.  I will cook us something yummy in our home.  Yeah.  As a reward.  If he does handle me at my worst...I should give him my best.  Pretty much immediately.  

How have you been selfish lately?  More importantly, what'd you do to make up for it?


♥ ♥ Just a Girl in Love w/ a Soldier ♥ ♥ said...

awh girl, Im so sorry just remember even though he may not be in the best of moods and show that he cares deep down he really dose. Life's not easy Marriage isn't easy but you will make it and you will become stronger and closer with each passing day.

Meg @ Mr.C & Me said...

yesyesyes, been there, done that, and though i'm trying to get better i still slip up. i apologize a thousand times and he forgives me :) giving each other space and time is really important too.

Pamela said...

Yes, I have been selfish some lately too :( I've just blamed in to my period, ha! I need to take full responsibilities for my actions (not something that comes once a month!). Which I do. You're ok though! Marriage (& life) isn't always easy. Plus, we're human! Your husband loves you OH so much!!