Friday, January 6, 2012

Update on my Newly Wed Life :)

I love this picture because of the way he's holding me, AND our parents just happened to be dancing near us when the picture was taken.  :)


This morning, I came across an amazing blog called "The Christian Wife Life."  I want to explore it more.  I love it a lot already.  Ashley, the author, seems very sweet, genuine, and pulled together.  

The first post I read is called "Newlywed Life - What I Love About Marriage."  You can read it here.  I realized, while reading her post, that it has been a while since I blogged about my marriage.  Things have been going really, really great lately.  We've been super busy, but it seems like we are getting better and better at being married.  Does that make sense?  

Before I got married, I always heard that the first few months of marriage are the most difficult.  I have heard those words again, and again, and again.  But for some reason...I was not expecting my marriage to start out that way!  I was so looking forward to going on our honeymoon, moving into our FIRST HOME, and being able to relax.  Wedding planning had me all-a-tizzy!  Low and behold, our first few months of marriage were hard.  Really hard, actually.  This coming Tuesday is our 4-month anniversary, and it seems like things just get better and easier every day.  

Now, when I say things are getting better and easier every day, I do not mean:
-we don't fight/disagree/argue
-we don't have our problems
- we know everything there is to know about marriage
-our marriage is perfect
-we have it all figured out

I do mean that we are getting better at it.  We are learning what works and what doesn't in our marriage.  That's the kicker.  Every marriage is different and so every solution is different, every consequence is different.  I feel like the first few months of our marriage were all about learning.  We were merging our lives into one life.  We were taking his way of doing something, my way of doing something, and decided how we are going to do something.  It's crazy, and hard, and exhausting.  We argued a lot.  We were both learning a lot of information.  

I think the thing I struggled with the most was holding my tongue.  I have always been the type of girl who just says whatever pops into my head!  If someone hurt my feelings, I let them know.  Oh, and did I stop there?  Absolutely not!  I let them know just exactly what I thought about them.  I would think to myself, "if he/she/they doesn't like it, he/she/they can leave."  Marriage has taught me how wrong I was, and how unacceptable that type of behavior is.  My words have the power to negatively affect my marriage forever. My words have the power to hurt my husband, and leave him with long-term damage.  That means...I better be careful and watch my mouth, young lady.  Oh gosh, I just turned into my mother.  Just like that.  

Haha.  No, but seriously?  Maybe that lesson sounds "easily learned" to some of you.  It was not easy for me to learn this particular lesson.  It took some time, it took some mistakes, and it took me sacrificing some of my pride and admitting that I'm wrong and that I have a problem.  It took me spending some with God.  It took me promising (and figuring out a way) to do better.  This is just one of the lessons I learned immediately after we returned from our honeymoon.  I have learned others.  My husband has learned lessons, as well.  Lessons take time.  I think the first few months were difficult because we were both learning so many lessons all at the same time.  It got pretty overwhelming.  

Fast-forward a little bit...and things are going much, much better.  We are learning to compromise, we are learning to work together, we are learning to control our tempers and our words.  We are learning that different does not equal wrong.  

Mr. Robinson is of the opinion that, since we both work 40+ hours each week, we should save all of the chores for Saturday.  

I am of the opinion that we should do a little bit, like one chore, each day so that Saturday's can be reserved for big projects OR fun activities.  

We were raised in different homes, by different people, and have totally different opinions as to how certain things should be done.  I fought him tooth and nail on saving chores until Saturday.  That is not what I wanted, and I nagged, wined, complained, and made both of us miserable.  FINALLY, I realized that us preferring different ways of carrying out household chores does not make one of us wrong.  Hmm.  How 'bout that?!  When I figured that out, I was able to shut my pie-hole and re-focus my energy on making him a to-do list for Saturday.  Just kidding.  Or maybe not?  My point is this:  different does not equal wrong is a marriage-changing realization.

  After we moved past our little period of...I'm not really sure what to call it....adjusting/learning/adapting... things got better!  Things got much better.  That period helped me learn a lot about my brand new husband, and a lot about myself.  

So....what does all of this have to do with Ashley's blog The Christian Wife Life?  She offers some GREAT advice, y'all.  Her entire blog is just so-super-great and I really encourage you to go check it out and tell her hello.  

I have a problem with authority figures.  I don't like it when people just create a blog and post a ton of advice on certain topics because it makes me think "who are you?  how are you qualified?"  Ashley does not come across that way at all.  Not at all.  She gives advice based on the Bible (which I find to be a pretty reliable source of information), different studies she has participated in, and her own personal experience.  It's cool.  She gives advice and makes you feel like you're having coffee with a non-threatening friend all at the same time.  It's just great...go check it out. I said, the first post I read over at Ashley's blog is about her favorite parts of marriage.  I decided to make a list as well.  :)  So, coming to live from Fourmonthsofmarriageville...

What I Love About Being Married Life

I love living with my best friend.  He's always there and it just makes me so happy.  I love that when I get home from work at 5, he will be there in an hour.  I love watching the clock and getting excited about seeing him!  I love that we share our evenings together and that we get to cuddle all the time.  I love knowing that work is the only thing keeping us apart and that we  both want to be back together as soon as possible.

I love cooking for him!  Maybe it's crazy, but I feel like cooking dinner for my man is just the right thing to do.  Haha.  He is a very picky eater, and I love taking him on food-adventures and exposing him to new things.  He is so smart and is better than me at almost everything.  I love that with food, I can broaden his horizons.  At the same time, I'm learning new recipes and trying new things and testing myself.  It's so much fun and feels like such a "wifely" thing to do.  I love doing anything that makes me feel like his wife.

I love the confidence that being married to someone so wonderful gives me.  I know that he loves me, would do anything for me, and thinks that I am deserving of him.  That just gets me.  I draw confidence from him and his love.  He makes me a better person.  His love encourages me to be brave.

I love knowing that whatever happens next will happen to us.  Even though the future scares me a little because I hate change with everything in me, I find comfort knowing that we will do it together.  He is the first boy/man that I've dated and felt secure and grounded.  I never have to add "if we're still together then" to the end of every sentence/conversation about the future.  It's a great comfort to know that he will be there.  

I love laughing with my husband.  I love his laugh.  I love making him laugh.  I love that he makes me laugh.  I love the things that make him laugh because they are so different from the things that make me laugh.  I love the sound of his laugh.  I love what it means.  I love the good, silly times we share.  Last night we laid in bed talking and he laughed at something I said.  I imitated his laugh, pretty accurately.  That  cracked him up and he started laughing even harder.  So then I continued to imitate his laugh, which cracked ME up even more.  And we were just laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing...about his laugh.  Probably for ten minutes.  All while cuddling.  It was great.  

 So...those are just a few things that are fresh on my mind today...the things I'm loving most right now.  What's on your mind?  What's going on in your marriage?  What's your favorite part of being married?! What lessons have you learned? 

P.S.  If you are a marriage & love addict like myself, come back on Thursday and link up for Thriving Love Thursday and we'll talk about love some more.  <3


lilmoomoo said...

AWWW . this post seriously made me smile!
I also have a hard time with "holding my tongue". I am so MEAN sometimes.. ick.
It scares me to death to think that the first year is the hardest, and that my husband and I will basically be spending our first year together apart! (deployment) It makes me wonder if that means that this next year will be the hardest.. or if the one when he comes back will be?!? haha.
No but really. it is what you make it.
I loved this post. I really enjoyed reading it :)


Karla said...

I officially Luv ya! lol I love this post reminds of a post I did a couple of week back. Really I felt like I was writing this.. we two have now been married for 4 months.. and I cant tell you how hard the first two months felt.. and now it feels like we are picking our mojo!! All in all super cute post!!