Last night, my husband left me.
Well, kind of. He had to go upstate for training and since the drive took over 3 hours, the company he works for put him in a hotel for the night. He'll have to do this several times this month, but to be honest ... I was kind of looking forward to him leaving and giving me some alone time. Before he quit his job, I was accustomed to him leaving for work before me and coming home after me. I got boo-koodles of alone time. With his new job, that alone time has hit the pavement and he's there when I leave and he's there when I come home, with few exceptions. I was missing my alone time, and was looking forward to catching up on it while he's away at training! He'll be spending several nights away from home this month and I was excited.
Until it was time for him to leave.
I was sobbing...clutching to him as we laid on the floor. I have an ugly cry face. He said he was flattered.
My face was all red, my nose was all swollen, and I had snot coming out of my nose. Quite unflattering, yet he felt flattered. After he left, Zombie did something cute and I calmed down.
Then, we snuggled and watched The Backup Plan for the first time. It was SO good! Except that I was already emotional for my husband leaving for the night, so I cried over a romantic comedy...like a baby. And then I realized that I still miss him when he's gone. I really didn't want him to leave and I really didn't need the alone time I so desperately missed. I love him! This month will be full of changes for us, and I hope that watching him leave for work gets easier. But then, I kind of don't. I hope I never become numb or immune to missing the man God created with me in mind. I love being with him and even though we drive each other crazy sometimes, at the end of the day I want to be with him.
And when that's not possible, I make an ugly cry face.