Friday, March 9, 2012

On My Heart..

Still not ready to post about our I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that it might be a while before I can upload the pictures onto my home computer, edit them, upload them into Blogger, and write about the details.'s coming.  

After spending 7 full days with my sweet hubby, I've really been missing him since we've gone back to work.  We met at Ruby Tuesday...we were coworkers.  And sometimes I really miss the "olden days" of us working together and being together all the time.  Call it unhealthy, call it a "phase" that will go away over time, but I could be with Mr. Robinson all day every day and be happy as a clam.  Over the past few months, I guess I've adjusted to spending our days apart from each other.  We both have full time jobs and various obligations/commitments during the week that keep us busy.  After taking a "vacation" for 7 days and spending every waking moment together...I miss my husband.  And I think I'm a little sad about the fact that I've adjusted to our days apart.  I suppose there aren't many married couples who spend all of their time together...but we used to.  Maybe that's why we knew so quickly that we wanted to get married.  We knew we could work together and play together...we knew that we loved each other.  & we're living happily ever after.  I know it's completely natural and healthy for couples to spend time apart...but I just enjoy our time together so much that'd I'd be happy if we never spent any time apart.  

We do spend time apart, though.  Even thought I miss him when we aren't able to be together 24/7, sometimes I receive blessings when I'm away from my husband...blessings that I wouldn't receive otherwise. At our church, a group called Mission Sisters meets once a month to focus on community missions.  And we eat yummy food.  I am, by far, the youngest in the room, but those ladies bless my heart repeatedly.  Last night we had our monthly meeting, and when I left I was floating.  God works on us through our mentors, and if you don't have a godly woman in your life acting as a mentor, you are missing out.  I am so significantly blessed to have a handful of Christian women who I can look up to, depend on, and fellowship with.  I enjoy being a part of a group of women who can step on my toes and bless my heart all at once.  

I need to be doing so much more for His Kingdom.  There are people that I need to confront, love, and invite to church.  Instead of reaching out, I ignore it all and eventually forget that something pulled at my heart in the first place.  It's so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day.  It's even easier to use that as an excuse for not doing something.  I am the absolute worst when it comes to justifying why I did something or why I didn't do something.  Last night, at Mission Sisters, I was pretty much called out on my junk.  Not directly...nobody called me by name and pointed out my flaws or anything.  The lesson really stepped on my toes and opened my eyes to the fact that I'm being too passive about things and that as a Christian, it's not acceptable.  Often, I'm afraid of making enemies or ruining relationships so I don't say anything.  

Take my sister for example.  She's a good kid, a good daughter, a good student.  All of those are things that did not describe me when I was her age.  She's a freshman in college and has the whole world at her fingertips or feet or earlobes or whatever body-part you associate with this particular saying.  She's not making bad choices, or as far as I know she's not, but that doesn't make her a Christian.  She loves and respects our parents, but that doesn't make her a Christian.  The truth of the matter is this:  I know that my sister is a good person.  I have no clue if she is saved.  Or if she has been saved, she doesn't take it seriously.  She isn't in love with our Savior and she isn't passionately seeking Him and His perfect will.  And last night I learned that it's not acceptable for me to be passive about my sister's salvation.  She's part of me, and her soul, her eternal salvation, is worth me risking our current relationship.  She's my little sister.  I'm supposed to take care of her.. 

It doesn't stop with my sister.  Where is my passion for people?  I don't get to pick and choose who I witness to.  I don't get to pick who I invite to church or who I reach out to or who I pray for.  It's not my church.  It's God's church.  And I've got to stop only inviting people to church if they look like me, or act like me, or have things in common with me, or are related to me.  What about everyone else? 

These are some of the things that are on my heart today.  I want to be a better Christian, and that means being a better relative and a better daughter.  It means not being afraid of rejection or "ruined" relationships.  When I die, I will be held accountable for everything I did...and for everything I chose not to do.  I want to finish well.  I want to be regarded as a good and faithful servant.  I don't want to spend eternity explaining to my perfect, Heavenly Father why I didn't find certain people worthy or worth the risk of sharing Christ's love.  



Meg @ Mr.C and Me said...

although i'm not a christian, i really appreciated your post today. i think it is a good lesson & reminder to all of us to be open + loving to other people and to not exclude them from our lives, without even giving them a chance, just because they don't look like us, act like us, or have things in common with us.

i know many christians who struggle with the issues you present here but are unable to take that leap, and that risk that you mentioned. and many more who have been attending church for year and haven't come to the revelations you have.

i am proud of you & happy for the growth you are finding within yourself :)

Meg @ Mr.C and Me said...

p.s. it's great that you & the mr. can spend 24/7 with each other. mr.c & i enjoy spending time together but both realize we need time apart as well, in order to have a balanced relationship. however, we both agree (& love) the time we can spend together, in the same room, but doing different things. i might be reading a book while he plays video games but it's nice to be able to look over and share a smile. :)

Tiffany Gabriel said...

This was a great post, much needed for me and a big wake up call.
PS: The hubbs and I could spend every waking moment together and never get tired of it!!! I HATE HATE being away from him, so I totally get what you are saying!!!

Alynne Leigh said...

Your last line gives me goosebumps.
This is exactly what I have been feeling - especially the last few months. I don't want to look back on my life with God, while feeling His disappointment in me for not living my life for Him, or for messing up an opportunity to bring Him glory.
I think you said it all when you said that this means "not being afraid".
You're right.

I loved your post (: