I am super busy right now. And when I say "super busy" I mean that the hubby and I are out of food and clean clothes & I don't have time to do anything about it. So we're going away for the weekend to buy clothes and eat out. Haha.
Remember back in....oh...March I mentioned something about this idea God had given me for a women's conference? If you don't, click here. That idea has become a reality that is going down next weekend. Oh my gosh.
I am not in any way trying to toot my own horn. This conference is about God, not about me. But one of the points of this blog is to record the emotions I feel - good or bad. So, just allow me this moment to record my feelings about the conference coming up in 7 days.
I am leading a conference.
I am in charge.
Why did God think that was a good idea?!
I've never done anything like this before in my life.
I've only attended one conference. One. And now I'm organizing one myself. How is this possible?
How is it possible that a year and a half ago I was selling drugs and now I'm organizing a conference in hopes of reaching the unchurched. Because I care. I care about the people in our community who don't know God...and that "caring" is very new to me.
We are prepared for 100 people. When we first started planning, we took into consideration that our church is pretty small - we have room for about 150 people max. Our fellowship hall holds even less people. We also took into consideration that our church is in the middle of nowhere - at least an hour away from any major cities. Our pastor told me that in general 6 to 8 percent of people invited to any given event will show up. He also told us later that it takes 8 invitations before a person will come to a church event. I'm not a math person, but I calculated some things and based on the numbers our pastor gave us...we'd have to invite 1,667 people eight times each to have 100 people show up. So that's what we planned for...100 seemed like a really big goal. But now? With fliers and/or save-the-date cards in most of the local businesses, fliers handed out door to door, groups and events on Facebook, ads in all of the local & not-so-local newspapers, radio announcements on Christian and secular stations all the way up to TWO HOURS AWAY, letters sent to over 50 local and not-so-local churches, and then just word of mouth.....what if planning for 100 people wasn't enough?
When I start to think of how packed our church could be....I feel so much anxiety about not having enough, not having done enough. I try to think about how Jesus fed over 5,000 people with just a 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. (Matthew 14: 13-21) I know in my heart that God didn't give me this idea and allow everything to fall perfectly into place for it to fail. I know that. So I calm down. And then I hear a tiny voice in the back of my head telling me lies. It would break my heart if the conference wasn't a huge success. I've put so much work into everything...not to mention the committee of 7 absolutely amazing, godly women who have worked diligently as well. So I remember how many people have been praying for the conference. And I remember that we serve a God who hears our prayers.
So, to summarize, it's a constant battle between peace and anxiety. I know I'm behind on blogging...I know I'm behind on e-mails. I know. I'm sorry. But all of this will be here when the conference is over and right now...Women at Crossroads is my priority. If you can, say a little prayer for me, all of the ladies helping, and especially for the women who will attend.