Bosom-Buddy Guest Post # 3

While I'm on vacation in Mexico, I'm leaving you in the trusted hands of my July Bosom-Buddies.  I only accepted 6 Bosom-Buddies this month in hopes of really promoting them and their blogs, because they deserve it oh so much.  While I'm all vacation, you'll hear from every single one of my July Bosom-Buddies! I asked them to write about something was "typical" of them so that you'd know what you're getting into by following them.  I hope y'all enjoy their posts & make some new friends while I'm away!  ***

Hey there fellow New Wife Life (try saying that 10X fast) readers!

 My name is Elise and I blog over and Forever Changed. 

I’m a pretty ordinary girl, I often refer to myself as Plain Jane, 

but despite that I believe I have an extraordinary purpose perfectly designed by God.

So let me tell you a little bit about myself and overload you with pictures, 

because lets be honest, pictures make everything more enjoyable. 

I come from an amazing family that consists of a dad, mom, older sister, 

brother-in-law, and younger brother. 

I have a best friend who without I would probably be lost 

I have the sweetest dog in the world

I run, for fun (and enjoy a good a rhyme ever once in awhile)  

I enjoy eating...

A lot...

Chocolate chip cookies are my weakness

I love Christmas 

More so than any sane person

And at the rip old age of 21 I have a bucket list that I take pretty seriously.

Some of my latest accomplishments consist of parasailing

Completing a Mud Run

And a Sprint Triathlon 

Riding a horse and buggy through Central Park 

Going skydiving

Bungee jumping

White water rafting class 5 rapids

And moving to Rwanda Africa to work in an orphanage.

December 27^th 2011 I went on my first mission’s trip to Rwanda and Ethiopia. 

On New Years Eve we visited an orphanage called Noel with over five hundred children and only eighty-seven nannies to care for them.

 New Years Day I made my decision to move to Rwanda and four months later I did just that. 

I have now been in Rwanda for almost two months.

These two months have been filled with smiles, laughter, new friendships, new adventures

As well as tears, frustration, anger, confusion and questioning.

But I wouldn’t trade these two months for anything in the world 

because this is where God has called me to serve 

And no matter the circumstance or consequences

 I will always seek to be obedient and follow Him wherever He asks. 

Forever Changed is my way of documenting this crazy journey that is my life. If you are interested in joining me on this adventure head on over to my blog, I would love to have you! 

Oh but before I go I think I should probably do a giveaway since ya'll are so awesome. 

Please excuse the ugly picture. 

I got food poisoning recently and couldn't manage to get up and take a good picture

No.41 provides skills, training and sustainable income to orphaned young women in Gisenyi, Rwanda as they get on their feet and transition to independence. The proceeds from their bags and beads will also fund a school-feeding program for secondary school students in the area. 

And conveniently is run out of my house and founded by my roommate Tara Clapper. 

So today I would like to offer you a chance to win a beautiful clutch made by one of the amazing 31 women that are currently employed by No.41.


REQUIRED ENTRIES:


+1  Like No.41 on Facebook, and leave a comment on this post saying you've done so.
+  Follow Forever Changed via GFC or Bloglovin', and leave a comment on this post saying you've done so.


ADDITIONAL ENTRIES:
+  Follow Elise on Twitter, and leave a comment on this post saying you've done so.
+ Follow Elise on Instagram, and leave a comment on this post saying you've done so.
+  Donate to Ten Talents International to help support mission work in Africa, and leave a comment on this post saying you've done so (you don't have to say how much).
+  Tweet about this post & tag @MyNewWifeLife and @e_coop57, and leave a comment on this post saying you've done so.


The giveaway ends July 28th at midnight!  


Thanks!  Love, Elise :)


Wow.  I certainly hope all of you go check out Elise's blog, and not just click "follow" because she's hosting a giveaway.  This girl has such a huge heart for others and she's an inspiration to anyone who is hesitant to follow God's call.  This is the first giveaway ever hosted on this here blog, so I hope lots of you are able to participate and support this wonderful cause and this wonderful woman!  =)    

 

The Day That Changed Everything

I'll start from the beginning...
In 2007, Mr. Robinson and I were strangers.  We were both choosing where we would attend college and had narrowed it down to two choices.  We had the same two choices and ended up attending the same college, but never met each other there.  Since we feel like God brought us together, we like to think that we would have met even if we had chosen the "other" college.  But, that's irrelevant...what is relevant is that two kids from two different towns made a decision to be in the same place at the same time.  
Mr. Robinson made much better choices than I did, and got involved in Campus Outreach at the college.  Over time, a guy named Jeff became his best friend.
 I made quite different choices, and got involved with drinking, drugs, & living the party life.  Over time, a guy named Gibo became my best friend. 
Fast-forward a bit.  Gibo & Jeff are co-workers at Ruby Tuesday.  Gibo got me a job there, and 4 months later Jeff got Mr. Robinson a job there as well.
You know the drill from here.  We met, fell in love, & got married.  We both decided to get big-kid jobs and Mr. Robinson started working at a Finance Company in town.  I started working for my family's business.  Mr. R hated his job and I loved mine.  
We applied for a mortgage in the town we were living in and got denied, forcing us to move into my parent's home an hour away.  Once we had moved, Mr. R was able to get his job transferred to a nearby town.  
By working at this particular location, he met a man who worked for Edward Jones, a commission-based finance company.  Mr. Robinson, still hating his job, decided to check it out.  When it turned out to not be the best choice for us at the time, he eventually started working at Aflac after much prayer.  We felt like that's what God wanted us to do. 
Working for Aflac made so many things possible.  Mr. Robinson worked a lot less, but also made a lot less money.  In his free time, he day-dreamed of seminary and couldn't seem to get it off his mind & heart.  We also learned that we could survive off of my income only, even though I wasn't making an extraordinary salary.
During this time was when the Women's Conference at church happened.  I had known that Mr. R felt called to serve, but I was always afraid that I didn't have the necessary skills to serve beside him.  The Women's Conference calmed me, and I realized that God had given me some pretty amazing skills that I could use to better serve Him.  
This past weekend, something came about about Charlotte.  I told him, "We could move to Charlotte."  He thought I was joking.  On Monday, he found a seminary to check out.  We decided to look at apartments that were in the area while we were in town, since we live over 3 hours away.    Mr. R set up a tour at the seminary and set appointments to view some nearby apartment complexes on Thursday.  
As planned, we went to Charlotte yesterday.  I gave you all of this background to document all of the different, seemingly random things that had to fall perfectly into place for this to work out the way it did.  Which brings me to the day that changed everything.  
We toured the campus.  It was small, but nice.  Our tour guide introduced us to several different professors, and we liked everyone we met.  I remember thinking about how everyone always wants to separate church & state, church & school, church & politics...but at the seminary, everyone talked about God.  People prayed for us, and it was a totally different experience that we both loved.  Everyone was so nice...they were all filled with the joy only Jesus can give.  We went out to lunch with the Dean of Admissions.  We were able to talk about the school's doctrines and ask lots of questions.  We learned that we agreed with everything the school represents.  On the way back to campus, the DoA mentioned that some of Mr. R's favorite pastors attended the same type of seminary.  I knew right then that we were moving to Charlotte, even thought my husband had not yet made his official decision.  Once we were back on campus, they split us up - Mr. R met with their Old Testament professor and I met with their Dean of Women.  I adored her...she was the older version of myself.  I especially loved that she goes out of her way to make the spouses of seminary students feel like part of a community.  I learned that I can even sit it on any class Mr. R takes and get credits for them, without having to pay for anything extra.  After our individual meetings, we met back up to visit again with the Dean of Admissions.  He gave my husband several books, some written by one of their professors.  We discussed the different programs offered, tuition, book costs, and application process.  We learned that Mr. R can get a scholarship that pays for HALF of his tuition just for being involved with Campus Outreach in college.  He would be able to start classes July 30th - as in THIS MONTH.  We left feeling very good about this particular seminary.  I was completely at peace and felt happy.  
We went to an apartment complex less than a mile from the seminary.  It was everything we wanted - pet friendly, one bedroom, affordable, new, clean, nice, nearby seminary, in a safe part of town, and it even had things that weren't a priority for us.  The complex has two pools and a fitness center.  :)  We liked what we saw, and when our sales lady asked if we wanted to fill out an application we went to the car for a little chat. We talked, and felt at ease about it.  Yes, it was crazy fast - but that's just how we operate.  Haha!  So, we went inside and she offered to cut the application fees in half.  We agreed to fill out the applications.  Before she ran our credit reports and everything, she told us that if something came back "flagged" we may have to pay a security deposit.  {I knew we would have to pay a security deposit.  I made bad choices in college and ruined my credit.  I applied for a Belk card a month ago and was denied...I was thinking we'd probably need a co-sign on the lease AND pay a security deposit.}  A few moments later, the report comes back that we were 100% approved with no security deposit required.  My jaw almost hit the floor.  It was my favorite part of the day because it felt like SUCH a God-thing.  
So...yesterday was the day that changed everything.  We're moving to Charlotte in a month for my husband to attend Seminary.  
This means so many heartbreaking things...like me leaving my job at the family business, leaving my parents & family, leaving our home... but, God will provide.  He will take care of us on this crazy new adventure we're about to start.  I've cried my fair share of tears over this, trust me.  I started to tell my dad on the phone last night, and had to hand the phone over to my husband because I was sobbing too hard to speak.  BUT, I am happy.  I am excited.  I am supportive.  Most importantly, we are being obedient.  
Here's to the craziest month of our lives...so far... :)  

Anxiety, House Hunting, & A Call To Serve

I feel a little nervous writing this post, but I'm not really sure why.  Perhaps it's because I feel like there is much to be said about our marriage right now.  
Tomorrow at 2:15, I have a doctor's appointment to address my anxiety problems.  I've been thinking about this a lot lately because it's caused problems in our marriage and I hate that.  My mind is just going, going, going...and when I think about it, I can't seem to shake that anxiety that just rattles me to the core & makes my hands shake and my mind race.  The first time I ever experienced anxiety problems was during wedding planning, which is ridiculous because wedding planning is supposed to be fun and we hired a wedding planner.  There were some issues with different family members that I couldn't put off on our planner, but my stress level really should have been at a minimum as far as brides are concerned.  It put a strain on me, it put on a strain on our relationship and on some of my other relationships.  I ended up going to the doctor and he put me on anxiety medication to help me manage my feelings, but we both assumed that the emotional problems I was having was just a side effect of wedding planning.  As soon as the wedding was over, I stopped taking my medication.  Things calmed down, and although Mr. Robinson and I had a rocky start once we started life together, we both attributed it to problems associated with being brand new newlyweds.  After being married for a little over 9 months, we've noticed that we seem to get caught in a rather vicious cycle.  Mr. Robinson will do something that bothers me and I'll flip out.  Usually, the "thing" he does isn't a huge deal, but it bothers me in a huge way.  I fuss and complain and get super emotional and irrational.  His response is to get angry & lash out.  He says hurtful things that reflect the way he feels in that moment, which only make me more emotional.  Then the next few days get really awkward as we try to coexist without crossing paths because both of us are hurt and angry.  It's no fun to live like this, and last time we went through these motions, the thought occurred to me that "maybe I need to get back on my medication" and I said it out loud.  Mr. Robinson said "maybe you do."  Later, once our emotions had calmed down, we had a long talk and made up...but decided to at least talk to my doctor about it.  Anxiety/depression problems run in my family and have caused pain within my family.  If that's what this is and I catch it early, I should consider it a blessing.  But it's hard not to be angry at the fact that I may need medication to balance myself out.  I don't want these problems, even though they don't pop up very often.  Maybe once a month - sometimes more, sometimes less.  But they leave a lasting damage that I don't want.  So, we'll see what happens tomorrow.  Then Saturday, I think, we are meeting with a pastor/friend and his wife (who happens to battle anxiety and depression) and get an opinion on that side.  Hopefully we'll get some answers this week...it's just scary and annoying and embarrassing.  
Like I said, I've been thinking about it a lot lately.  If you've read all about my past, I allude to the fact that I spent part of my life "experimenting" with drugs and alcohol.  I abused different substances in different ways, but in reflecting...I'm starting to think that maybe my desire for those substances was coming from a desire to self-medicate.  And that makes me sad.
My main concern is my marriage.  We both say and do things in a moment of passion that leave permanent damage.  We can't take our words back, we can't take our actions back, and we can't erase memories.  Big fights have a way of haunting us...and I hope that by seeking professional opinions we can prevent those ghosts from finding us.  
Meanwhile.... back at the ranch....
We did some light house-hunting yesterday.  With the issues we have going on at church right now, the possibility of us finding a new church home has become rather real.  With that idea also comes the idea of relocating.  Nothing too drastic, but a move nonetheless (even if it would just be a move to a home 30 minutes away).  It was fun, but we realized how spoiled we are with all of the space & privacy we have in our current home.  We didn't see anything we liked enough to pursue, but it's always fun to daydream.  
In addition to all of that, Mr. Robinson is feeling a strong calling into the ministry.  And while at one point in my life a calling for him to be a pastor would have terrified me, I'm actually pretty cool with it this time.  Does it change my big "life plan?"  For sure.  But God's plans always turn out so much better than mine, anyway.  Back in January I wrote a post called Frying Chicken Never Saved A Soul.  It was about my husband's call to serve God and about my fears - because I felt like I had nothing to offer, no usable skills to serve God with.  But, the Women at Crossroads conference really changed my opinion of myself and my ability to serve God.  I'm at the point now where I think I could make a good Pastor's wife - with HIS help!  So...we'll see what happens next!  

The Fog

This morning on my way to work, it was very foggy.  I only live 5 minutes (or less) from the place that employees me, so it was a short drive through the fog.  I really wanted to take a picture of the fog because it just looked the way I feel right now, but taking a picture would have meant pulling over, getting my maxi dress & toes all wet, looking like an idiot, waiting on a moment in time where NO cars or tractors or grandmas in robes were in the picture, and ultimately being late for work.  So I decided to pull this picture off the internet, instead.  So, this is pretty much what I saw on the way to work this morning, but without the snow because it's summer in South Carolina.  

Anyway.  It got me thinking about how I feel like I'm driving through the fog right now.  This is a life analogy, so just stick with me.  
I can't see in front of me.  I don't know what is going to happen, I don't know what is next.  I have no clue and I feel like I'm driving blind.  Marriage is tough right now.  I'm dealing with some emotional, chemical, or mental things right now that I don't even want to talk or think about.  There are some really difficult things going on at our church that are scary.  Through the women's conference, all of these doors are opening in front of me and it's so overwhelming.  Do you know what's it like to have so many things right in front of your face, but all you see is fog?  It's a horrible feeling.  
My prayers right now are that God will heal my marriage, heal me, protect our church and lead us in His path, and guide me in the future.  While the fog itself is scary, I know God is in there.  I just hate the fog.  I hate it so much.  Like I said yesterday, I have no interest in having these problems but here they are.  
I was talking with my mom earlier today.  She reminded me that the devil is not all-knowing, so he was probably surprised by how wonderful Women at Crossroads turned out to be.  People left blessed & encouraged, not because of me, but because I obeyed God.  Now all of these doors are opening, giving me opportunities to reach more people by serving on a committee that organizes youth rallies and revivals, speaking to young teenagers to help prepare them for high school, speaking at high school functions... Satan sees these opportunities.  He's angry at me.  Satan has moved in my life through drugs & alcohol abuse and I'm using those things against him and for God.  He's angry.  I caught him off guard with Women at Crossroads, but I won't catch him off guard again.  Cue the marriage problems, the emotional problems, the stress from church, etc.  If Satan starts ripping at the seams that hold me together, will I still be so willing to serve my God?  If my life is in shambles, will I continue to praise Him?  
To be honest, nothing about my past says that I will.  But in talking to my mom this morning, I feel a new sense of motivation to not let any of this beat me.  Satan has been putting all sorts of lies in my head.  He's been messing things up left and right, and I'm letting these things get to me.  If I am defeated, Satan has won.  And I've decided that I'm not going to let that happen.  It doesn't matter what I can or can't see ahead of me.  As far as I'm concerned, the fog can go hover elsewhere because I'm not going to let it intimidate me anymore.  
Yesterday, Mr. Robinson saw a church sign that said "For every Goliath, there is a stone."  I think it brought him some peace... we're still having problems.  We're struggling.  To be totally honest, things are really awkward at the Robinson house right now.  We're in the thick of the fog.  God is with us, with a big stone to throw at this big "Goliath" if we let Him.  
I was listening to Pandora Praise & Worship this morning...and I've heard this song dozens of times, but it just gave me strength today.  :)  For some reason, I'm not able to embed a video in this post today so just click here. 
I just want to my heart to stop racing...I want this anxiety gone.      

Women at Crossroads

Hey.  :)  
I am super busy right now.  And when I say "super busy" I mean that the hubby and I are out of food and clean clothes & I don't have time to do anything about it.  So we're going away for the weekend to buy clothes and eat out.  Haha.
Remember back in....oh...March I mentioned something about this idea God had given me for a women's conference?  If you don't, click here.  That idea has become a reality that is going down next weekend.  Oh my gosh.

I am not in any way trying to toot my own horn.  This conference is about God, not about me.  But one of the points of this blog is to record the emotions I feel - good or bad.  So, just allow me this moment to record my feelings about the conference coming up in 7 days.  
I am leading a conference.I am in charge.Why did God think that was a good idea?!  I've never done anything like this before in my life.I've only attended one conference.  One.  And now I'm organizing one myself.  How is this possible?How is it possible that a year and a half ago I was selling drugs and now I'm organizing a conference in hopes of reaching the unchurched.  Because I care.  I care about the people in our community who don't know God...and that "caring" is very new to me.  It's mind-boggling.
We are prepared for 100 people.  When we first started planning, we took into consideration that our church is pretty small - we have room for about 150 people max.  Our fellowship hall holds even less people.  We also took into consideration that our church is in the middle of nowhere - at least an hour away from any major cities.  Our pastor told me that in general 6 to 8 percent of people invited to any given event will show up.  He also told us later that it takes 8 invitations before a person will come to a church event.  I'm not a math person, but I calculated some things and based on the numbers our pastor gave us...we'd have to invite 1,667 people eight times each to have 100 people show up.  So that's what we planned for...100 seemed like a really big goal.  But now?  With fliers and/or save-the-date cards in most of the local businesses, fliers handed out door to door, groups and events on Facebook, ads in all of the local & not-so-local newspapers, radio announcements on Christian and secular stations all the way up to TWO HOURS AWAY, letters sent to over 50 local and not-so-local churches, and then just word of mouth.....what if planning for 100 people wasn't enough?
When I start to think of how packed our church could be....I feel so much anxiety about not having enough, not having done enough.  I try to think about how Jesus fed over 5,000 people with just a 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish.  (Matthew 14: 13-21)  I know in my heart that God didn't give me this idea and allow everything to fall perfectly into place for it to fail.  I know that.  So I calm down.  And then I hear a tiny voice in the back of my head telling me lies.  It would break my heart if the conference wasn't a huge success.  I've put so much work into everything...not to mention the committee of 7 absolutely amazing, godly women who have worked diligently as well.  So I remember how many people have been praying for the conference.  And I remember that we serve a God who hears our prayers.  
So, to summarize, it's a constant battle between peace and anxiety.  I know I'm behind on blogging...I know I'm behind on e-mails.  I know.  I'm sorry.  But all of this will be here when the conference is over and right now...Women at Crossroads is my priority.  If you can, say a little prayer for me, all of the ladies helping, and especially for the women who will attend.            

Before - How - After {Jesus}

Testimonies always start with how a person was raised.  So, I'll start there.

Before  

For the most part, I was raised in a Christian home.  My mom was a Christian - she took us to church and kept us involved.  My dad didn't go to church until I was a little older, but later he became a strong Christian and has even served as a Deacon.  I am my parent's firstborn child.  I'm also the oldest grandchild.  My family had high hopes for me and there was a lot of pressure to make everyone proud.  I was baptized as a young child because I didn't want to be the last kid to go forward at church.  Nothing too out of the ordinary with my upbringin'.  When I was in the 8th grade, I got my first kiss and smoked my first cigarette.  I was the new kid at school and loved all the attention I got.  I think I sort-of got addicted to the shock-and-awe attention from my classmates.  Fast forward to high school.  I lost my virginity to a boy I knew I'd be with forever, except forever only lasted a year.  I dated a string of boys and men, and get deep into the party life.  By 15, I was smoking cigarettes, sneaking out, drinking daily, drinking and driving, sleeping with my boyfriends (some my age-ish, some adults), lying to my parents, cussing like a sailor, smoking pot, taking prescription pills, going to parties... it was all so easy to get sucked in.  I lost a lot of friends...a lot of girls talked bad about me.  I went to a church camp in the 10th grade, where I felt God speaking to me.  I rededicated my life and even got baptized again - I wanted it on the correct side of my salvation.  But..it didn't stick.  It was too easy to have "fun."  People from school called me a slut, a drunk, a party-girl, a pot head.  It hurt, but I was having fun and just called them "jealous."  My parents and I argued all the time, about everything from grades to where I was, who I was with, and the boys I dated.  College was the same.  I was always skipping class to get drunk or high.  I dated another string of boys.  I started selling pot to make some extra money on the side.  When my parents found out I was teaching my sister everything I knew about buying, selling, and smoking pot...the gravy train ended.  They stopped paying my rent, stopped giving me money at all, and said they would no longer be paying my tuition.  I deserved it...but I was so angry at them.  Our relationship crumbled, and so did I.  I dropped out of college, started waiting tables full time at Ruby Tuesday.  I pretty much stayed in a stupor for a while...I used a variety of drug and alcohol combinations to stay numb.  Eventually, I met Mr. Robinson.  We fell in love and I knew if I had any chance of holding onto this guy, I would have to change my ways.  He was, after all, a Christian.       

How

Mr. Robinson taught me all about unconditional love.  He loved me even though I kept hurting him and pushing him away.  He tried to talk to me about Jesus all the time, but I didn't want to hear it.  One night, when I was at a low point, he invited me to church with him.  I accepted, even though I was terrified.  My parents came to go to church with us, and gradually the relationship I had with them improved.  Mr. Robinson made me so happy...he made me realize that the only reason I felt like I had to stay drunk or high was to forget my reality.  If he could be reality, I'd have nothing I needed to forget.  I stopped smoking pot and partying.  I told him that I loved him and meant it.  I already knew he loved me, but he said it back anyway.  We made it official - we were "boyfriend and girlfriend" after almost 6 months of him trying to woo me and me scampering away.  He gave me a journal and I started to pray and read my Bible.  I asked God to forgive me and I started to work on the relationship I had with Him...and on all the relationships I had damaged over the years.  Again, I lost a lot of friends.  My drinking buddies and drug dealers didn't think I was much fun anymore.  My definition of fun had changed without me even knowing it...  Within two weeks of us being official , we were planning our wedding.  :)  Another two weeks, I had an engagement ring.  God used Mr. Robinson to bring me back to Him.

After

I did so many things that I regret.  I'm thankful for where I am now, but there are so many mistakes in my past I wish I could have avoided.  But Jesus claimed my sins as His own and God forgave me.  I read my Bible because I want to.  I have a desire to learn more about God, to learn from the people He inspired, and to better myself.  I pray all the time - for others, for myself, and for my marriage.  I say thank You for the things I am thankful for and I love on the people I count as blessings.  I love going to church and being with with like-minded people, instead of dreading it like I used to.  I listen to the Praise and Worship channel on Pandora and praise God while I get ready for work.  I encourage other people, I invite other people to church because I want everyone to experience God's love, and I use the talents that God blessed me with for HIS glory.  When I'm upset about something, I pray.  I read my Bible.  I seek God.  I don't get drunk or high.  I ask God to be my strength and to get me through anything I go through.  I have faith that someone smarter & bigger than me has a plan for my life.  I know that there is a bigger picture out there that is fabulous, even though I can't see it.  I know that I have nothing to fear and I know who is in control.  I know that no matter where I am, who I'm with, or what I'm doing...God has given me a how-to manual.  I have peace, and it is well with my soul.  

  I hope that you know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior.  It has completely turned my life around and it truly does make all the difference!  If any of y'all have any questions, I'd be happy to share my knowledge and experience with you - leave a comment or e-mail me at MyNewWifeLife@aol.com.